this time, back home (unfortunately extremely macho home), it’s been time to carve an axiom.
I do think jealousy is related to macho culture.
For example, in a macho culture, women always own the fault for cheating. If the women cheats, she is found guilty. If a man cheats, the mistress is the guilty one.
Also, men embedded in a macho culture are thought to be providers of financial stability, emotional stability and status. According to Maria Rita Kelh, psychiatrist, these men didn’t pass by any cultural/social shift as some women during feminism years. These men were not called for the feminist discussion, thus they didn’t access the agenda built by women trying to change their rights in the society. Finally, they didn’t learn with it.
Now, these men, facing independent emancipated women, feel insecure. What are they for if not to provide stability on financial and emotional life? This insecurity leads to jealousy. On the contrary, dependent women are jealous as they fear losing the stability brought by their partners.
My hope is towards emancipated man and woman that are able to realize those cultural vices and flip this coin. Why? What is the whole point about being against jealousy? I see jealousy is the most destructive feeling as it is fight against love or free will. It is useless and has no need to be. The principle for it resides on being afraid of missing someone to someone else. If all love was respected, accepted and cheered (yes, love is meant to be cheered up), there wouldn’t be any sense of fear. You can’t lose something when you don’t possess it.
If you tell me that jealousy is a natural feeling or so, I might argue with you that this is the argument for homophobia and for macho behaviour. The biological aspect suffers as cause of many dead concepts. If you keep insisting on the legitimacy of jealousy, I might tell you that macho concepts strengths it and I expect you to be skeptical about a feeling that is reinforced by macho culture.
So then, what to do? Emotional reeducation. Their is no recipe. There is no rule. A hint? Trying it together with your partner might be way easier. Understanding the difference and the others’ moment. This also applies to friendship, in case you differ love and friendship.