chasing movement

Category: love


I once wrote:

Anywhere I can be with inspiring people is home.

Now, I says: ‘It is rather not as simple’. Finding oneself in a new city is hard, even harder when you have to face lots of limitations on infrastructure. Another important point is the cultural aspects… if one likes them or not, they are going to be there anyways.

I’m having a tough time with nutrition here. Although Natal is really rich on fruits, people tend not to eat healthy, therefore the availability of healthy options is miserable. The only solution I could find is to cook all my meals. It is tiring and I have so many other things to do, but what can I do?!

Working with neural signals and neuroscience is really cool. I’m in love with electrophysiology and I’m working on adapting my toolbox to work with these super cool signals. Between mice, cotton-tops, data, graphs, conditioning circuits, I’m finding it super exciting and inspiring. More to come on this track.

On Tuesday, it will be time to install Debian Neuroscience in a lab computer. This will be really beautiful. I’m trying to get myself to speak Julia more, but switching between languages is not always as efficient as in Montreal.


It is certain that I can potentially enjoy any project whose idea inspires me. It can be from a simple buzzing system that prevents me from slamming the fridge’s door with an open drawer to a sky rocket algorithm that quantifies soft tissue deformation during pitching. 
I’m an engineer and researcher. Therefore, I can do anything. Including doing nothing that I’ve done till now. How that sounds? Beautiful uh? If technology was broken for a certain research question, it was worth to evaluate how much I could put it together and how much I should wait for my beloved colleagues to come up with better material science that will hopefully fix the broken technology of today. 
I wonder how senior researchers and professors deal with it. I know some that keep a straight line of thought since the first derivative line in their phd. Some others are widely open to their students’ abilities and drives. The latter perhaps would hear me when I say that you can do whatever you want. 
Holstee and so many other inspiring texts claim you should do what you love. People may break nuts while figuring out what the hack is the thing they love. Maybe the answer is not a single topic or drive. It’s a realm. But watch out, you should not entitled yourself to a task that you don’t have the correspondent knowledge and qualification to do, this would be totally irresponsible. But yes, given that you have the background knowledge, that you know the right tools for the job, you can do anything. Do not ever ever ever step on someone else’s domain. Give value and admiration to your peers is essential and efficient. Also, do not deliver bold statements based on superficial knowledge and low fidelity data. Be critic. About your work, your mentors’ work and anyone else’s work. Do it, but find the line between being critic and wasting your time pointing out at others’ work. A nice way to show limitations of a given work is not pointing at it loud, it is indeed to do it yourself… better. 
Not only you should do what you love, but do what you know you do well! Know your weakness and find competent people to pair with, given value to their work. Remember that is always hard to give value to details or preciosities if you ignore the topic. Respect and admiration should fill your knowledge gap for this purpose. 
And yes, be in fucking love with yourself. This is essential, but do not ever ever diminish other people and do not put yourself on a tabernacle from where you are not be able to see what is underneath your feet or the dust around you. If you don’t love yourself, you can be ridiculous competent but you won’t be seen and recognized. Don’t wait or work for recognition, do what you think is needed and give yourself recognition for your strengths, efforts, and your processes of learning by failure. 
Be bold. 
Do what you think the world needs and if it is not prepared for that, build a communication tunnel which you could use to offer the world something, even if this is limited or far from your ideal capabilities. It is worth. Don’t attach and satisfy yourself with the minimum though. The sky is not the limit, but it’s a nice place to be looking at. 
Be bold. Mean it!
Driving, I’d tell my mom. If you are willing to turn, mean it, otherwise people won’t see your intention. If you don’t turn the wheels enough, you’ll either find an obstacle or be an obstacle to someone else. Mean it. 

a humble confession/collection of insights to my pupil that inspires me a bunch. Thanks g.


“might be coherent, but maybe not sufficient”

as far as love goes

to a labmate:

Hi xxx,

how is it going?
how is family? how is life in the west?
I’ve been trying to contact people in the lab, but it seems quite difficult to get something.
I can’t access my previous computer, your computer or even the database.



the answer:

server was moved and isn’t online.

What else?
########### command not found #################
from #whatshouldwecallgradschool by theplacewherethingsgo

when someone calls my research soft science


from #whatshouldwecallgradschool by greent33

what I need when I’m having a bad lab day


macho jealousy

this time, back home (unfortunately extremely macho home), it’s been time to carve an axiom.

I do think jealousy is related to macho culture.

For example, in a macho culture, women always own the fault for cheating. If the women cheats, she is found guilty. If a man cheats, the mistress is the guilty one.

Also, men embedded in a macho culture are thought to be providers of financial stability, emotional stability and status. According to Maria Rita Kelh, psychiatrist, these men didn’t pass by any cultural/social shift as some women during  feminism years. These men were not called for the feminist discussion, thus they didn’t access the agenda built by women trying to change their rights in the society. Finally, they didn’t learn with it.
Now, these men, facing independent emancipated women, feel insecure. What are they for if not to provide stability on financial and emotional life? This insecurity leads to jealousy. On the contrary, dependent women are jealous as they fear losing the stability brought by their partners.

My hope is towards emancipated man and woman that are able to realize those cultural vices and flip this coin. Why? What is the whole point about being against jealousy? I see jealousy is the most destructive feeling as it is fight against love or free will. It is useless and has no need to be. The principle for it resides on being afraid of missing someone to someone else. If all love was respected, accepted and cheered (yes, love is meant to be cheered up), there wouldn’t be any sense of fear. You can’t lose something when you don’t possess it.

If you tell me that jealousy is a natural feeling or so, I might argue with you that this is the argument for homophobia and for macho behaviour. The biological aspect suffers as cause of many dead concepts. If you keep insisting on the legitimacy of jealousy, I might tell you that macho concepts strengths it and I expect you to be skeptical about a feeling that is reinforced by macho culture.

So then, what to do? Emotional reeducation. Their is no recipe. There is no rule. A hint? Trying it together with your partner might be way easier. Understanding the difference and the others’ moment. This also applies to friendship, in case you differ love and friendship. 

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